Fall-Like-Angels

I'm just going to officially say I'm leaving. I never get on here anymore and it seems kinda cruel to string you guys along hoping I'll be there.

I'm on tumblr regularly, so if you have a tumblr, my url is don't-kill-the-messenger.
If anybody wants, I can make a separate poetry blog, if you guys really want to see more.

We'll just have to see.

If you want, you can ask for my email, if you want to actually talk, but I feel most of you must have forgotten me since I've been on here so irregularly. ^-^' I'll try to be on every day or two for a while so you can see this and have the chance to ask.
if you end up following me on tumblr, just drop be and ask and tell me who you are and where i know you from, otherwise i might start to think I'm popular lol.

I love you guys, really, it's just I'm never here so there's no point to saying i will be.

Ok so term finals are over and I can hopefully get back to business.

UPDATES:
-My chest binder came in the mail yesterday AND I AM SO HAPPY
-the guy i like/liked eternally friendzoned me and now is being a major douche-canoe.
-Preparing for Halloween

My paintings came home with me today from school so hopefully I'll post those soon. My mixed media piece has been requested to go to competition in the spring my my teacher, so I'm so excited.

I have finals coming up. How, you ask? The school year just started?

My school is a special snowflake and has block scheduling. Now what's that? We have 4 blocks, aka class periods, per day, plus lunch, which is divided into 2. People eat A lunch and have a lil B study hall, or vice versa. Freshman and seniors together, and sophomores and juniors together.
So our classes are twice as long.
So semester finals happen after a quarter of the school year. Its so stupid and I hate it, but what can ya do?

The only one i really need to prep for is Spanish but.....I REALLY need to prep for that tbh. ^_^'

Because I HAVE to do better in school this year. I'm not allowed by my parents to get a job until I 'prove im more responsible' and I NEED to get a job. Because for the sake of my sanity, I NEED to be out of this house as soon as I graduate.

So I know it's selfish and petty, but for a while I might just still be lurking off and on. I promise I'll try though.

Yes I'm okay.

This was just been a shitty start to the week.

Found out my little sister *not literally, but I claimed her, her home life is rough* was drugged along with a few other freshman. Idk if she's out of the hospital yet but she came out of a medically induced coma on Sunday.

This shit isn't supposed to happen in quiet midwestern small towns. This is the shit that happens in big cities.

So when i found this out on Monday *it occurred on Saturday* I had a full blown panic attack in study hall. Fun fun, right? Great way to start the week.

But all things considered I think I bounced back okay.


Yes, I'm gonna try to get back to my old 'on once a day at least, need it or not' but like I stated before my impromptu hiatus.
Things are happening around here.

So I'm gonna try, because I feel at home here, but I can't make any promises right now. ^^

I've needed some time. I know, sounds like a teenager thing, and I guess it kind of is. I needed to re-evaluate, see who I was and where I needed to go.

My girlfriend of five months broke up with me on Labor day under some....circumstances. If you want the full story, note me, but I won't post it publicly.

I realized that if I'm attracted to men at all, it isn't very much, and more of a romantic than physical way.

My gender is no. It's fluid as hell, and sometimes I go by Gabriel or Gabe.

My chest binder is coming in in a month or two. My parents think its for cosplay, which isn't false. Just not the whole truth.

I'm a sophomore. Wow...

I started driving!

My two best friends....kinda stopped talking to me....

But I made new ones. And I'm closer to them than I had been to the others in a long time.

I made apologies I should have made a long time ago.

I started writing again! I made a google drive, and started a story. A handful of my friends read it and more or less bed me to keep writing. My friend, who is a senior, is my beta, and she gives me so many good ideas!

If any of you remember last years Homecoming incident, this year was much better, and I had a blast.

I'm in a kind of support group now that a friend founded, for those of us at school who are depressed.

I overcame a lot of fears. Public speaking, singing in front of my peers after they laughed at me last year, talking to people...

I come back to you all as a new person. I've found where I belong, and it hurt a lot to do so, but I'm moving on. Growing up. I've stopped clinging to my safety net.

I'm flying free now, guys. And I'm never coming down.